My anger at Help for Heroes

Help for Heroes was on the radio this morning as I came into work. I find this a difficult charity to support to be honest. I'm probably going to get shot down in flames for this, but it's got to be said my experience with squaddies has been less than positive.

My ex, He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, was a bastard. He emotionally, physically and sexually abused me for four years. I was a strong confident woman when I met him, with a little self esteem issue, but nothing serious. By the end of four years, I was fainting regularly, scared to leave the house – even to go to work, unable to join workmates for after-work drinks, scarred and generally a mess. I had two miscarriages in those years, thankfully they were early ones, but I am left with problems in that area since.

 

It could be said that HWSNBM was not typical of squaddies and they are, by and large, a fairly upright and admirable group of people. In that case I must be very unlucky with the ones I've met, because all this man's friends saw at least part of what was going on and most applauded him for his efforts. Maybe like calls to like, even in the armed forces, but for me this has tarnished my opinion of squaddies forever.

 

It was years before I could even pass someone in uniform without shaking – something which is not very good when you live in an area where the military have a substantial presence. Even if they weren't wearing uniform, military personnel are very easy to identify........That man ruined me and I'm still picking the pieces up five years later.

 

So Help for Heroes, as I said, is a difficult charity for me to support. I feel resentful that people think I should be grateful for what those boys are doing. I don't. I disagree with foreign presence in either Afghanistan OR Iraq and I think those troops still there should be brought home immediately. I don't think they're protecting 'my' borders anyway. Being Irish – well let's face it, I know those missiles are accurate these days, but who'd bother attacking us? It's not worth it. So those troops are not supporting me or protecting me. I may live in the UK, but I'm not British.

 

This isn't just Help for Heroes though – I have an instinctive resentment of anyone asking me for money, but I am less offended by those charities collecting for cancer research for example than by those collecting money for people who have chosen to make their life's work killing other people. That's what an army does –we can dress it up in politics and rhetoric all we like, but an army exists because someone, somewhere decides they need to have the ability to kill other people.

 

So I won't be supporting Help for Heroes. I won't be listening when their ads come on telly/radio. I won't be guilted into giving money to something I adamantly oppose. And I won't give money, however indirectly, to that bastard who ruined my life!