Why do I eat?

Why do I eat?

It's so rarely because I'm hungry. Even now, I rarely eat just because I'm hungry. I eat because it's the right time. I eat because I am tired. I eat because I am bored. I eat because I am putting off doing something. I eat because I am angry. I eat because other people are eating. I eat because I'm sad. I eat because I'm happy. I eat because I'm with someone. I eat because I need something to break up something else.

None of these are really good reasons to eat. I realised today I could be a healthy weight by my wedding if I put my mind to it. Well technically, if I lost 1kg a week between now and the wedding I would have a BMI of 25.6 on my wedding day. And let's face it, no doc in their right mind would moan at me for being a mere 0.6 over the healthy range when it's currently closer to 43..........

Being a healthy weight? I'd given up on that you know. It had always been just a pipe dream since I was a kid. I was always 'big for my age', 'big-boned', taller than the rest of my class.....but I am overweight and badly so. I'm starting to see the health effects carrying this around leads to. I'm starting to get scared about being this size forever.

I've made a deal with two people I know that we will support each other in our weight loss endeavours. I intend to do the following:

1) Fill in my food diary every day

2) Make it to 10000steps every day

3) Engage in extra curricular exercise (in other words, on top of the 10000steps a day) 3 times a week for a minimum of 30mins a time

4) Allow myself to fail when I need to.

Perfectionism isn't going to win this race for me. Perfectionism will actively work against me in fact. So I'm not going to fall for it. But that doesn't mean letting myself off the hook either. I'm allowed to fail – yes. I am not allowed to just give up. I'm thinking of creating a star chart for myself again – use a simple excel sheet to record the good days and the bad days and see if any patterns emerge.

So a one week challenge starting from today – get all those things done. Easy right? Then why do I do this so often?

Life is hard. Life is not easy. And while an easy ride might be alright for a while, it is the challenges in life that makes me a better, stronger person. I am taking steps to get to the right place. I just need to keep remembering that. 1.6million steps for a journey of 1000km...........................