Pain

Bad back. Bad feet. Sore back. Sore feet. Pain, cramps, agony. That's my life today. My feet are so bad I've had to cancel my PT session tomorrow night and my back is playing up, possibly as a side effect of walking funny........Either way, I'm mainlining nurofen and praying. Not much else to do in these situations. On the plus side, it has forced me to finally book an appointment with a physiotherapist for Friday. £50, but if it helps it will be money well spent. On the other hand, the pain is playing havoc with my ability to concentrate, so work is definitely suffering.

 

I never understand how people put up with pain like this long term. To me, even a day or two is horrible and I'll do nearly anything to not allow myself physical pain (emotional pain is a whole other kettle of fish!) So right now, when my lower left back is stabbing me continually, my mood isn't the best, my attitude is definitely not the best and it's effecting pretty much everything I'm doing.

 

So thinking about people like cancer sufferers or long term ill – well a few days like this and I'm ready to give a month's wages towards helping them. I don't cos of the need to pay bills and because at heart, I am basically selfish and want my hard earned money to be spent on me, but at times like right now someone offering a cure would be very very welcome. It's easy to see how people suffering can be swindled for vast sums of money – if someone like me who is intelligent, well-read, well-educated, considered to be on top of things financially, basically eyes open to the conmen of this world is seriously considered any sort of snake oil treatment possible just to relieve the bit of pain I'm in – well it's no wonder people want to suspend their awareness of cons and believe, just for a little while, that it will all be ok.

 

Thankfully, I'm not the stage where life-long pain is a real possibility (aside from the fact that living is pain and without the pain we'd not appreciate the good things as much), but days like this I can sympathise. So I will try and remember not to judge people on their choices in life. Who am I to know what else is going on?

 

In other news – 0.9kg lost this week!! After the weekend with the parents, that's some achievement. I'm feeling pretty good about that since it's the first significant loss since June. But it brings my total loss to 8.1 kg since February. Another 16 kg (being 12 more months, at a rate of 8kg every 6 months......) before the wedding would be awesome and enough to get me into the size 16 dress I want to be. So I'm confident on that score.

 

I'm still awaiting the finalisation of the details for my second interview for the new job. It looks like it will be next Friday, but I need to confirm before booking flights, hotels, etc.

 

Overall, life is good, despite the current pain. I can afford to do something about all this though, so I am going to. I can do this. I can live this life. I will not allow myself to wallow in misery.......