I've had sexism done to me

I think that's the quote from Caitlin Moran's recent How to be a Woman (http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Be-Woman-Caitlin-Moran/dp/0091940737/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314174883&sr=1-1, Ebury Press, 2011, ISBN 10: 0091940737, ISBN 13: 978-0091940737)

 

I can sympathise this morning. I work in engineering, I'm used to sexism, but I'm used to the overt kind – the shock on people's faces as they discover the 'gentleman' they've been emailing for some time is in possession of some fairly obviously female traits, the look of horror as they realise a female person has overheard some off-colour jokes, that sort of thing. To be honest, that sort of thing doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's the other kind. The subtle kind. The 'you're not quite important enough for me to bother about' kind. That's the kind I faced yesterday.

 

There is a regular morning meeting (four days a week, Mon-Thurs, 08:15 – whenever) that I attend. Yesterday it was called off. Two people weren't told. It could be coincidence that we were both of the female persuasion. It may just have been that the manager in question honestly forgot to tell me. It may just be that I'm not that important on his internal scale so wasting my time isn't an issue for him. What got me was the distinct lack of an apology for forgetting me. What got me was the laughter as he realised what he'd done. What got me was the distinct impression that I should know better than to think I would be informed of such a going on. The fact that I'm on an equal ranking with him (well technically I'm marginally senior but hey ho) didn't matter a damn to him. Normal human politeness and courtesy didn't matter a damn to him. So, in the words of Ms. Moran – I've had sexism done to me.

 

I could of course bring this to HR's attention and make a complaint, but one incident doesn't a complaint make. Not unless it's a drastically obvious one like he tried to strip me or something anyway. So what will I do? Nothing really. What should I do? Confront him, point it out to him, talk to him – to what end? Engineering's a man's game – or it was and most of the male engineers and some of the female engineers I know seem happy to leave it that way. Well I'm not. And as to how I will get back at him? That's easy. I'll consistently outperform, outthink and outmanoeuvre him the way I have been doing up to now. Problem solved.

 

That's how we're going to take over the world people – not by open warfare, but by the insidious creep of female power into this world. We're not incapable, we're not defeatable – we are what drives this world. Without women, there would be no men (the reverse is also true!) Sure, I don't have the physical strength to stay swinging a 15lb hammer all day, but then my job doesn't demand I do that, so why does that fact make me a lesser engineer than someone who can? Besides, I'm sure I could develop the strength if it were a life and death situation.........

 

Most of all, I'm angry with myself cos I accepted this and didn't do anything. I wanted to punch his lights out but ladies don't do that sort of thing – it appears some of my mother's teaching did after all sink in...........