Baby steps

Last night and this morning I did a lot of good things. I ate dinner sitting at the table, using appropriate cutlery and delph. I marched on the spot for 90 mins to get my steps to where they should be. I washed up and tidied the kitchen. I put a load of laundry on and hung it out to dry. I had a shower. I went to bed on time. I applied for some jobs. I slept properly.

 

This may seem like a normal evening to most, but for me these small things represent a huge breakthrough. I managed to have a normal evening where I rested some, I did some things, I left other things to the morning, I managed my time, I achieved things. This is huge. Tonight I'm either going to a PT session or I'm going to a swimming class. I'd prefer the PT session cos it's within my comfort zone but the swimming class will open up new avenues of both socialising and of exercise for me. But either way it will be an exercise evening, which means only one more to fit in by Friday morning.

 

When I look back to six months or a year ago when I was sitting at home every evening, either not eating or binging so much I couldn't breathe hardly, I know I've made progress. This morning I decided to put on a shirt instead of a top for work. That also made a huge difference and I've put some orders on with next to get some more everyday shirts for myself. Looking smart makes me feel able to achieve so much more than when I look horrible and making the effort does pay off. I suppose this post is really to remind me that while things aren't perfect, they're a hell of a lot better than they were and I can manage things so that I achieve and make things happen myself without depending on other people.

 

So there we go – no big 'Eureka!' moment. No major breakthrough or cathartic traumatic event. Just me, plodding away at things, trying to get my life in order. 'A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step' goes the old proverb, but it also involves the 1609343 steps after that as well.......(1000 miles being approximately 1609344 m and each step being approximately 1 metre.......yes I know, I'm overthinking this!) but I am making those steps, slowly and surely and steadily. Realistically, I want to wear something beautiful on my wedding day, but don't want to put pressure on myself so I need to just keep on taking those small steps and see how things go. Baby steps, small progresses, slow and steady does it.

 

It's actually more encouraging than any of the 'lose weight quick' schemes I've ever seen, cos this isn't because of some 'miracle pill' this is all me.