There hasn't been a post in a few days. I've been busy, away and then back in work. I'm finding things difficult – little things like the washing up take up so much energy and effort it's not funny. I am going to try for a good long list of positives today though. I have four days worth to build up so it should be decent.
1) I got my essay first draft written.
2) I got a rewrite done as well.
3) I handed in the essay well in time.
4) I feel it was a good attempt and covered the question adequately.
5) I finished AA100 – finally!!
6) I remember my pills all over the weekend.
7) I stayed awake to let the boiler man in on Friday.
8) I allowed myself to sleep later on in the day.
9) I ate dinner, even if it wasn't extremely healthy!
10) I got up early on Sat
11) I did my jobs around town before heading to Cheltenham.
12) I didn't get stressed about being late.
13) I enjoyed the drive.
14) I didn't let Gail rattle me when I got there.
15) I didn't let the fact that Josh was scared of me bother me.
16) I let my hair down and relaxed.
17) I didn't allow myself to be pushed into things I didn't want to be pushed into.
18) I got asked for ID in Sainsburys!!!
19) I ate until I was full on Sat and then stopped.
20) I didn't sleep very well on Sat night, but allowed myself to be awake without pressure and just enjoyed the reading time.
21) I relaxed again on Sunday.
22) I enjoyed reading my book in bed.
23) I didn't get up as soon as I heard Josh wake, but left Mark and Anna to deal with it.
24) I chilled out in the morning on the couch.
25) I watched the second half of the rugby and really enjoyed it.
26) I didn't let people bug me into getting in the way.
27) I had a really good chat with Anna.
28) I ate what I wanted at dinner.
29) I didn't bother eating anything else cos I was full.
30) I slept when I was tired.
31) I dragged myself out of bed on Monday even though I was tired.
32) I did the washing up.
33) I went to the psychologist.
34) I didn't eat anything after dinner.
35) I ate at the table.
36) I went to bed on time.
37) I wore a bright top yesterday.
38) I held my temper during a text conversation.
39) I did some study on my new course.
40) I drank enough water.
OK so there are a lot of repetitions in there, but sometimes doing the same thing day in, day out is difficult, so I reserve the right to treat them as separate for that!! :)
Today's positivity – well I'll worry about it tomorrow. I'm not sure how much there is to be honest, cos it's been an awful day in work, but I will persevere. By focussing on thinking positively, I hope to get my brain back in action on the positive mood swings rather than the negative ones.
I saw the psychologist last night and that was a positive experience. She gave me a handout to work through and some good ideas for things to do. She also said I was doing a lot to help myself as it was so try and keep that up. Fingers crossed it works!!
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