OK I'm not sure where this post is going so bear with me. I just finished reading 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert and it got me thinking. I don't have 12months savings to go off and travel and spend four months in three different places around the world to 'find' myself, or find true happiness. But I can put some of the lessons into place that she learned.
For example, last week was meant to be a nice relaxing, peaceful week at home, chilling out and getting my head together. Instead I was in work - now my boss was adamant that he hadn't asked me to do this - probably cos he had gone around the taking holiday rules and booked the same time off for himself after I had booked my time - that's the second time this year that has happened. So in the end I had Friday off and not the whole week. Which caused some problems with my week of chilling and relaxing, particularly when I was in early and late and all over the place.
But there are some good things to take for this - I now have 4 extra days holiday that I hadn't expected. that's a good thing. I can, if I like, work four day weeks from now until Christmas because of this. That would be quite pleasant I think. I could also take some time off when I need it a bit more - such as when my boss is actually in work cos he has no holidays left now - but I won't be able to spend it with Al. never mind, last week is done and there's no reliving the past to change it unfortunately.
Onto another good thing. My misery last week prompted al to sort out some things that I had been worrying over and we had a really good talk about living together after the wedding. He also told me some things that put my mind at ease - I was wondering how we were going to handle some differences between our ways of spending leisure time and it turns out we already have some good systems in place for this, even when we're living together. This is excellent news. I walked around with a big grin all day yesterday after the conversation on Friday night.
So - some things I need to put into place. I need to start going to Mass again - it makes me feel better and able to face whatever the week throws at me, so by attending, I am doing myself a favour. I need to think more in terms of doing myself favours like that. I made myself a mozzarella and tomato and basil salad last night for dinner - it was gorgeous. It really was lovely. And I'm worth that sort of effort. So making myself nice food is a good thing and I'm worth it. I've got the makings of a good parsnip soup and a carrot and coriander soup as well - that will make a difference to the food for the next few weeks. Which is all good. Nice pleasant food to keep me warm, full and satisfied. I need to go back to having the kitchen as a warm and welcoming place rather than a place I avoid. I have a good clean oven again, 30mins this morning will restore order to the washing up and fold the dry laundry and then I will have a calm peaceful room again to create culinary delights.
Then it's the turn of my study space in the living room. I need to clear off all the old paperwork and either file it or chuck it. That's another 30mins. So in an hour today I will have made great strides in getting things together. I need to also get a lot of clothes on ebay today - it's free insertion this weekend so I may as well take advantage of it and get a lot of the good shoes and clothes on there that might make me some money.
So - a clean flat, a clean mind, a clean life - those were the lessons I learned from that book and I intend to keep putting them into practice. But the most important things to remember is that this isn't about perfection. It's never about perfection. It's about surviving. And I can do that - i've been doing it for years. But not just surviving, surviving well. The thing to remember is that life is for living, not just surviving. Living, not just surviving. That's my new mantra I think!!
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