Wanting and making

A lot of people say that if you really want something, you will make it happen. I find myself thinking and wondering if there’s anything I really want that much in life. I suppose the wedding is one thing. I mean I really want that to happen and it is happening. It hasn’t really taken much work on my part though. When you think about it, it’s all come down to project management and that I’m good at.

What about weight then. Why can’t I see that in the same way? I weighed in at Rosemary Conley last night and I stayed the same over the last two weeks. I was disappointed, but I also know why it happened. So last night I had a binge. 2 x packs of chocolate fingers, a chocolate éclair and a pack of cashew nuts. And even after all that, I was only 225cals over my allowance – mainly cos of not having eaten all day at all really, so I had loads of cals left over. Plus the aerobics class worked as well.

I feel good about it all today. I took a break last night and if I’m going to do that, Wednesday night is the night to do it in. That gives me a week to recover. There are too many things right now getting in the way of my focus on the weight loss, so giving myself one night a week off will relieve a bit of all that stress.

Just one night though and today I’m back on the wagon so to speak. I’ve logged all my food. I’ve eaten sensibly (aside from not having breakfast, but frankly I was still full after last night’s chocfest!). It’s all within the allowed parameters. I’m doing well. I’ve got a plan for tonight and I’m sticking with it.

My water bottle is full and ready to be emptied. I’m taking in twice as many veg as fruit. I’m looking at fat levels and things like that to see if I’m cutting back where I can. I will do this. I’m determined. And I’m going to start on the bike this weekend as well. I know, I know, I’ve said that for every weekend since I moved to Haverhill, but I mean it this time. I’m getting it out of the shed, pumping the tires and getting moving. I need to do a practice run to work to make sure I can make it on time in the mornings and make it up all the hills and things, but if I could make it, then I could sell my car and get things ready for the rest of the paying off of the wedding. Otherwise, we’re a bit stuck for cash.

I will do this. I’m determined to lose weight, to be a size 16 again. I know, it’s still a plus size but it’s the smallest size I’ve been as an adult, so it’s a reasonable aim for now. I’ve got a meeting with a LighterLife consultant this Saturday as well. I may be doing that program after the honeymoon. I will certainly lose weight on that, but whether I will be happy or not with it, I don’t know. I can always give it a go for a month I suppose and see how it works out. September is a good time for those things. Even so long out of education, September still seems like a second ‘New Year’ to me, just one without all the alcohol.  If I stuck with lighterlife for a month, that could be 7kg gone. If I stuck with it until Christmas, that could be  27kg gone. That would be a lot, but it works out about £250 a month, so I’d have to see where that money would come from.

Something to consider for the next month or so anyway.

So for now – get going on the biking and the C25k program. Now I’ve got my mp3 player, there’ll be no stopping me!!!