So it's Monday again. I'm really not feeling great. I had some dodgy dreams – unpleasant sexual encounters, being chased by Basil Fawlty, being chased by someone who wanted to hurt me, running through water and legs burning….all that sort of thing. I think it led to a disturbed sleep cos I slept from 8pm to half 6 this morning and still feel tired and out of sorts.
Weight is up a bit this morning, but that's ok – it was a heavy weekend. A few days of sensible eating again will calm that down.
I visited a friend at the weekend – someone I know and like a lot. This was my first time in her house though. It was really weird – she has so much clutter, it looks like one of those house that Kim and Aggie would attack. It's amazing the stuff she has – like she can't let go of anything, ever. Of course her husband and daughter live there too, and they don't help at all, but I couldn't believe it. I couldn't live like that – and that's saying something! I wanted to offer to clear some of it up but was afraid it would offend her if I did that! It has made me realise that I want to focus on a more minimalist attitude to clutter though. I mean, I don't want a bare house, empty of everything but the necessities, but I think the quicker I get things sold/given away, the better. I don't want to end up in a house like that where the grime builds up simply because there's no way to get to it to clean it.
So with that in mind, tonight, the washing up will be done and the kitchen floor swept again. It feels like overkill really, but I want to make sure I keep on top of things. I really really really don't want to end up in a house where tidying isn't possible because there just isn't the space to put things!
And the other thing was, this woman is bigger than I am – a lot bigger. She suffers from diabetes and heart problems and blood pressure problems and all sorts of things. I'm determined not to go there either. I want to be healthy. I may never be thin – and I think the effort of getting there and staying there would be too much when weighed against the benefits – but I can be healthy. Certainly healthier than I am right now anyway. With that in mind, my shopping list is made out for this week and after running club tonight, I will head over to Sainsburys and get it sorted. Then get back into the routine of making sure I have breakfast, dinner and lunch planned for the week. OK the weekend will be a bit heavy, but then it's Paddy's Day on Saturday, so that can be excused. A good shop this week will make sure I have enough food for the next two weeks.
Tomorrow night it will be 'list things on ebay' night. I have a few things I can raise money on and I can sell quite a bit. Even the books – I have some good sets in my shelves that I can list and raise money that way. I may even list the car on there but I think gumtree might be better cos there's no fees. I may check out gumtree anyway tonight when I get home to see what the system is like. Either way, it's time for a major clear out so that's what I'm doing.
I will not end up living in what could be a lovely house, but isn't because of clutter and dirt. I will end up living in a truly lovely house where things have a place and things that aren't needed are thrown away. I will keep an inventory of things that are in my house and see what I can and can't live without. I have so many clothes, so many books and I really don't need all of them. The shoes were the first things to say goodbye to, now it's the turn of other items. If I could make enough to cover what I need to pay for the hen weekend, that would be enough. And I think I can make that with what I've got. I just need to get listing and sorting things out.
So, determination is me from now on. I may feel lousy today, but I can make sure the future is brighter and getting some extra cash together will do just that. Making sure I have food in the house suitable for occasions when I come home hungry and tired will do that. Making sure I have systems in place to not allow clutter to build up will allow that. I will do this. One shelf at a time if I have to, but I will do this.
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