feeling fed up

I spent most of last week in bed. Then managed to play a blinder at the interview on Friday. Had a great day on Paddy's day. Got through work well yesterday.

But today - it all went to hell. I don't want to work. I don't want to go in and have to do useless pointless tasks every day. I don't want to have to struggle and to fight and to negotiate all the time.

They've announced redundancies in work - 3 from my department. I'm not going to be one of them. It's amazing how unhappy I feel about that to be honest. I want to go and being made redundant would force me to do it. I don't want to work there anymore. I don't want to work at all right now. I want to focus completely on me.

But unfortunately I have bills to pay, and a life to live and a wedding to get ready for and pay for.......I just want to step off the treadmill and be me for a while.

Don't you sometimes want to scream, 'Stop the ride I want to get off!'

and early night, a bath, a good night's sleep.......that could be the way to go for tonight. And something nice for breakfast - not sure what yet, but something nice. there's a recipe in one of my books for banana muesli and vanilla milk....maybe that would be nice.