£33.50

Is what I got for my DVDs at cash converters. I'm actually really happy with that - was hoping for more than £30 so that's good. Plus it's another load of stuff out of the house.

Now to get the book boxes out and get packing those. PLus I saw one of the charity shops in town are looking for handbags.......and I have a few of those........

Of course the house looks a complete state right now cos it's all in a state of flux but I can see it's getting better. Going to start loading up the car with stuff for the dump as well. That's a job for tomorrow.

Actually - I have to get the car washing stuff out of the cupboard before I can get near the book boxes so I might as well wash the car now as well. A bit chilly out, but I'll get warm by washing the car. And then I can have a nice dinner and a bath. I need one - I'm filthy from dust and that's before I start on the books!!!

7 hrs into the day

Doing pretty well, been to town, spoke to the secondhand bookseller, he's coming to see me tomorrow, got some things I needed. have my DVD's ready to go to cash converters tomorrow, or maybe even this afternoon, got the magazines all sortedf and ready to be dropped off at the doctors.....

OK aim for now is to get the books I want to keep boxed up and sorted out. Plus I want to get to sportsdirect cos my runners are completely wrecked now and are getting dangerous to wear!

Shopping at 4:30am has it's upsides

1) my parking space was still there when I got back
2) I gave the shelf stackers at Tesco's heart attacks, especially with what has to have been the noisiest trolley in the world
3) the shop was empty except for various other weirdos - not as many as one might expect in a town the size of Salisbury
4) No queues at the petrol station
5) Actual petrol in the petrol station

Now before ye all think I'm completely crazy - I was awake since half 3 and not getting back to sleep so figured I might as well make use of the time. Another 100mins before I had planned to get up - what can I do with myself? well there's probably some quiet housework I can manage

In other news, I'm feeling a bit disappointed in a friend of mine. We normally email about each others days a few times a day, depending on work load etc. Lately, I've noticed that despite some really big news on my part, it just gets ignored and only things that she does are mentioned. Now she's said she doesn't want to email me at all during the day - fair enough, we are both meant to be in work - but I can't help remembering a few weeks ago when I was busy and couldn't spare the time to answer as quickly as normal I got massive guilt trips over it - emails saying things like, 'Well now I've obviously pissed you off as well' and things like that. I'm starting to feel that as a friend she's a drain rather than an energy source. Now, she's a lovely lady and I enjoy hanging out with her and spending time with her, but I think I'm going to make less of an effort from now one. I just don't feel like it's worth my while. Despite knowing about my wedding for over a year, she's now saying she might not be able to come cos of work. even my friend who's currently in Malaysia is coming to the wedding. I'm only planning on getting married once!!!

Never mind. One person isn't worth getting upset over really.

OK so today - I have 90mins before I planned to get up. So, I'm going to get a load of washing on the go - actually no, I'm not cos there's a new born next door, so I'll wait til I hear him crying, then I'll put it on. But I can get a few loads of laundry ready. I can file paperwork and get the living room sorted. I can sort out the food in the kitchen and throw out the 'past its use-by date' stuff. I can fold and put away the dry clothes. I can box up the dvds and cds I want to bring to cash convertors. Along with anything else I think they might be interested in :)

Busy day ahead and my tummy isn't too keen on me at the minute, so lots of water and movement for me today. I may be posting a few updates during the day so don't worry too much - it's going to be mostly rubbish :)

OK aim one: gather all the clothes that need to go in the wash.
Aim two: file all paperwork properly.
Aim three: Food in kitchen.

Won't take long, right? :)

I start my new job on May 14th

The title says it all. I'm so happy, it's not funny. And they gave me £1500 more than they were originally going to so that's good. I'm going to have enough money to support me and Al next year so he can relax a bit as well.

Can't hand in my notice yet, cos it's only meant to be a month and I don't want to leave them before starting in the other place, so I'm going to have to keep quiet about it in work, but at home and on here, I can let loose :D

So, this weekend - major clear out of the flat needs to happen. I'm talking manic amount of cleaning, sorting, piling, selling, etc. it all needs to go. I've got one more place to try to sell books and if that doesn't work, they're going to the charity shop. End of story. Either way, this weekend, the books are being boxed up.

I can't wait really - it feels like a catharsis or something, the prospect of shedding my previous lives and moving forwards to one with me and Al together. I'm really looking forward to it.

Tired

I've made an executive decision. I'm taking this afternoon off work. OK so it's another half day gone on me, but frankly, I don't care. I'm knackered. I was awake from 2 til close to 5 this morning and that's not good enough. I can't function in work like this. So I'm taking the afternoon off work.

 

Plans are going to be exciting – get the car in for its MOT, go to bed, sleep. That's pretty much the size of it. I may throw in a trip to the charity shop and cashconvertors as well. That's only a 10 min journey so not the end of the world. And it will clear the car out a bit before the MOT.

 

It was a good weekend, a really good weekend, but not sleeping is taking its toll so it's wisest to get home where it's safe and I'm not likely to drop a major clangour over something. I will do an update on the weekend later but right now, I'm typing to look busy so people will leave me alone and the longer I can keep typing the better.

 

Now I wonder what CDs and DVDs I can get rid of at home – there are some I know I can. I will have to spend a little hour gathering them together before I go to cash convertors and get some money for them. Even if it's only £20 it's still better than nothing right? Let's hope so anyway. And then I can get some photos taken of the things I want to put on ebay and see how they sell. It all needs to be done, I just have to get off my backside and do it. Fingers crossed it will help with a few things.

 

I think the time has come to start boxing up some books as well – even if they only go to charity rather than selling them, it's time to start clearing out big time. I need to leave some of the dregs of the past behind me anyway, so it's now or never. If I have them boxed up and a list made of what's in each box, then I could hit the market on Saturday and ask the booksellers would they be interested in buying any of them. A week to sort all that out? Could be possible!!

 

OK I'm rambling now so I'd best move on to something else. 50mins left in work!!!

Money, money, money.....and boredom!

What to sell, what to sell, what to sell……I need to sell some things anyway, just to get rid of them, create space, that sort of thing. A lot of things really. If I piled up all the things I want to get rid of, I think there would be a lot more space in the flat and it would pay for a lot of the wedding.  Well I hope it would anyway. So this weekend is a gumtree weekend. Put a lot of stuff in there.

 

Actually anyone in the Salisbury area who wants to buy some books, some exercise equipment, some dvds/cds, or an 05 Corsa – get in touch J Just on the off chance anyone reads this blog ;) Leave a comment or I think you can email me from here as well……

 

I just need to make money and have a clear out all at the same time. Car boot is the next option – I've never been to one so it will be an experience, here goes nothing eh! So we're aiming to make about £5000 extra in the next few months to cover the wedding expenses. Car should bring in ~£2000 so the rest needs to raise £3000. I wonder if the library would buy my books? I can only ask. Libraries have to get their books from somewhere like!

 

And before anyone asks re: two posts in one day….yes – I am bored at work and need to think  all this out. I think I will have to get going on my uni assignment soon – mainly to try and keep my sanity. On the other hand, I haven't checked the lotto numbers from last night yet….fingers crossed!!!

Another day, another day.....

Bit of a binge this morning leaves me with 32cals for dinner. (I've included lunch in there already – fruit salad with yoghurt – I feel in need of some vits right now!) Now this isn't the end of the world, there are ways to make this work for me. I've had a really really good breakfast – positive. I've logged it all – positive. I know I can eat sensibly for the rest of the day and make up for it – positive. I probably needed the influx of fat this morning after not eating much yesterday – positive.

 

I've also figured out that my arms hurts less when I'm up and about and moving, so that's an incentive to keep moving as much as possible today. Which will also keep me in the mood for moving about when I get home tonight, which is all good.

 

I've got a splitting headache though – I'm fairly sure it's tension so not bothering to take painkillers, but it is distracting. Still yet another excuse to get out in the fresh air today.  On the plus side, I did the washing up this morning and tidied up a little bit since it's the management inspection of the flat this morning. So I will be going home to a slightly tidier house.

 

Aims for today:

Drink lots of water.

Get up and move once an hour (which I know you're meant to do anyway, but who does? ;))

Finish off the plans for alpha on movex (that makes sense to me ok!!)

Get through the really unpleasant meeting I have this afternoon.

Go home, get changed, go for a nice long walk.

Put the laundry on.

Fold away last weeks dry clothes.

Have shower.

Stay up later than 9pm.

 

Easy enough right?

Feeling really fed up

I've decided today is going to be a better day. Last night, I went home, sat on the couch and ate. Now when I say ate, I mean ate. I had sausages, onions and mushrooms for dinner – it was lovely, but totally not satisfying last night. So about 2hrs later, I made myself an oat/cranberry/macademia cake – again, nice, but completely not satisfying.  So I went to bed before 9 cos I just couldn't face being awake any more.

 

I slept right through til 6am, so I may have been tired, but I woke up feeling not very enthusiastic about life in general. I had a banana for brekkie cos I just CBA to actually bother doing anything about a proper breakfast. I've got some lovely soup for lunch. I'm planning on making a proper sausage casserole for dinner tonight.  So food is sorted, if a bit less than normal, but that's ok. I can live with less food today cos the effort of eating is just too much.

 

I've got some work I can bury myself in for a few hours and just ignore the outside world for a bit, that might help. When I get home tonight, I need to tidy up the flat cos I have an inspection tomorrow. I'm thinking of booking a massage or something for Friday afternoon – complete luxury, but I need to do something to snap myself out of this state I'm in.

 

I've been in with my boss this morning discussing the criteria for rating people against this redundancy malarkey – I've effectively written off two people. That's not a nice feeling. I know it's all part of being a manager, but it's still not a nice feeling. I think that more than anything is having an effect on me at the minute. I hope I get out of here soon.

 

Today, I want to go home feeling happy. Is that so difficult? I want to go home and feel energetic. I want to go home and achieve something. I want to be able to look the evening in the eye and face it head on. I want to have a life. I don't want to turn into a couch potato. Although I suspect I'm half way there.

 

Aims for tonight:

-       Put casserole on as soon as get in

-       Tidy kitchen, bathroom and living room

-       Do washing up

-       Go for a walk

 

All really simple right? So why is it so difficult to even get started on these!!!

feeling fed up

I spent most of last week in bed. Then managed to play a blinder at the interview on Friday. Had a great day on Paddy's day. Got through work well yesterday.

But today - it all went to hell. I don't want to work. I don't want to go in and have to do useless pointless tasks every day. I don't want to have to struggle and to fight and to negotiate all the time.

They've announced redundancies in work - 3 from my department. I'm not going to be one of them. It's amazing how unhappy I feel about that to be honest. I want to go and being made redundant would force me to do it. I don't want to work there anymore. I don't want to work at all right now. I want to focus completely on me.

But unfortunately I have bills to pay, and a life to live and a wedding to get ready for and pay for.......I just want to step off the treadmill and be me for a while.

Don't you sometimes want to scream, 'Stop the ride I want to get off!'

and early night, a bath, a good night's sleep.......that could be the way to go for tonight. And something nice for breakfast - not sure what yet, but something nice. there's a recipe in one of my books for banana muesli and vanilla milk....maybe that would be nice.

Second Day off Work.....

I fainted in the shower yesterday morning and cracked my head. I've fainted 3 more times since then. I spoke to the doctor yesterday and he thought it might be my low blood pressure acting up cos I had a hot shower before breakfast. That doesn't explain the three times since the shower though.

The worst was fainting on the way to the bathroom last night about midnight. It's not pleasant waking up on the floor of the bathroom - thankfully no serious accidents, but it was a close run thing.

I'm feeling fed up about being in the house so i'm going to do something today. I'm going to make an admittedly short list of things I want to do today. Things like - do washing up, cook lunch, make bed. That sort of thing.

At the very least it will keep me moving which might help the blood pressure and at most I will achieve something and hopefully feel better soon.

So here we go - plus I'm looking for something nice to have for breakfast at the minute. POrridge maybe? with dried fruit in it to up the sugars.......

I'll have to see what I've got in. maybe some nuts and seeds as well.......

Le weekend and renewed determination

So it's Monday again. I'm really not feeling great. I had some dodgy dreams – unpleasant sexual encounters, being chased by Basil Fawlty, being chased by someone who wanted to hurt me, running through water and legs burning….all that sort of thing. I think it led to a disturbed sleep cos I slept from 8pm to half 6 this morning and still feel tired and out of sorts.

 

Weight is up a bit this morning, but that's ok – it was a heavy weekend. A few days of sensible eating again will calm that down.

 

I visited a friend at the weekend – someone I know and like a lot. This was my first time in her house though. It was really weird – she has so much clutter, it looks like one of those house that Kim and Aggie would attack. It's amazing the stuff she has – like she can't let go of anything, ever. Of course her husband and daughter live there too, and they don't help at all, but I couldn't believe it. I couldn't live like that – and that's saying something! I wanted to offer to clear some of it up but was afraid it would offend her if I did that! It has made me realise that I want to focus on a more minimalist attitude to clutter though. I mean, I don't want a bare house, empty of everything but the necessities, but I think the quicker I get things sold/given away, the better. I don't want to end up in a house like that where the grime builds up simply because there's no way to get to it to clean it.

 

So with that in mind, tonight, the washing up will be done and the kitchen floor swept again. It feels like overkill really, but I want to make sure I keep on top of things. I really really really don't want to end up in a house where tidying isn't possible because there just isn't the space to put things!

 

And the other thing was, this woman is bigger than I am – a lot bigger. She suffers from diabetes and heart problems and blood pressure problems and all sorts of things. I'm determined not to go there either. I want to be healthy. I may never be thin – and I think the effort of getting there and staying there would be too much when weighed against the benefits – but I can be healthy. Certainly healthier than I am right now anyway. With that in mind, my shopping list is made out for this week and after running club tonight, I will head over to Sainsburys and get it sorted. Then get back into the routine of making sure I have breakfast, dinner and lunch planned for the week. OK the weekend will be a bit heavy, but then it's Paddy's Day on Saturday, so that can be excused. A good shop this week will make sure I have enough food for the next two weeks.

 

Tomorrow night it will be 'list things on ebay' night. I have a few things I can raise money on and I can sell quite a bit. Even the books – I have some good sets in my shelves that I can list and raise money that way. I may even list the car on there but I think gumtree might be better cos there's no fees. I may check out gumtree anyway tonight when I get home to see what the system is like. Either way, it's time for a major clear out so that's what I'm doing.

 

I will not end up living in what could be a lovely house, but isn't because of clutter and dirt. I will end up living in a truly lovely house where things have a place and things that aren't needed are thrown away. I will keep an inventory of things that are in my house and see what I can and can't live without. I have so many clothes, so many books and I really don't need all of them. The shoes were the first things to say goodbye to, now it's the turn of other items. If I could make enough to cover what I need to pay for the hen weekend, that would be enough. And I think I can make that with what I've got. I just need to get listing and sorting things out.

 

So, determination is me from now on. I may feel lousy today, but I can make sure the future is brighter and getting some extra cash together will do just that. Making sure I have food in the house suitable for occasions when I come home hungry and tired will do that. Making sure I have systems in place to not allow clutter to build up will allow that. I will do this. One shelf at a time if I have to, but I will do this.

Withering Wednesday

Last night, I foolishly went to sleep at 7pm. It wasn't planned, I just got home and felt exhausted, so dropped off. I woke at midnight. After lying awake til half past, I got up and watched some telly, then did the chores I meant to do last night: made todays breakfast, lunch for today/tomorrow/Friday, did the washing up, general tidied up the kitchen a bit, put some food in the freezer. Went back to sleep after 3am. (Thank you Paul McKenna).

 

Woke up this morning trying to convince myself that I was fine and refreshed and all the rest. Truth is – I'm not. I'm knackered. I've spent the last three hours in work doing anything and everything to stay awake. I've not gone back on the coffee or chocolate yet, and I'm determined not to, but I did pack a bit of extra lunch today on the understanding that since I'm tired, I'll probably need it. Add on to all that, the weather turned last night so it's wet and damp and miserable today. I'm feeling quite homesick actually!!

 

In other news – Second week at running club went well on Monday – I did 2miles in less than 30mins. OK I was the slowest of the pack, but the leader came back and ran with me for most of it so it was all fine and I felt great afterwards. I'm planning on a trip to the gym tonight to a) tire me out completely and b) get some more running in.

 

Weight loss is happening as well-  4kg off this week, so I'm now the lightest I've been since Sept 2010. Yup, that's right, Sept 2010 – that's eighteen months ago. Feeling quite proud of myself right now. It also means I've lost 16kg since I was at my heaviest last year, which is 2.5stone. The Amanda Hamilton diet appears to work, even when not followed strictly to the letter.

 

So as of now, I have 5hrs 45mins left in work. I've got a meeting for at least one of those hours and lunch for another 30mins, which leaves me with 4hrs 15mins to fill…..what to do, what to do……..

 

Think I might mess about with some spreadsheet and look busy, while thinking of ways to make a bit of extra money and pay off some of the debt…….well I can hope right?