My journey to kettering on Friday was horrific. the M40 was down to 1 lane northbound for most of the morning, which meant I spent 2hrs inching my way around Oxford. This was also in the heat of the midday sun - the car thermometer was reading 26C - and I ran out of water about an hour into the delay - and didn't see anywhere to stop until I was nearly at the m40 roundabout so i decided to wait.
When I got to Cherwell Valley services, the place was packed and the queue for the ladies was out to the main doors (if you know the services, you'll know why my heart sank at the sight!!) thankfully, there was a lovely manager at the head of the queue who kept it moving fairly quickly - that woman deserves a medal!
Went to buy some water, couldn't find my wallet so spent a good 15mins panicing before finding it in the passenger well of the car.
Eventually got back on the road and made it to Al's, where I thought I did a fairly good job of putting a good face on it until he yelled at me to stop speaking to him like he was a piece of shit. i don't like being yelled at so this lead to me bursting into tears a few mins later and screaming at him that sometimes things aren't all about him, that I'd have a f&*$ing awful day and I felt like sh!t and he wasn't helping by being in a foul mood himself. Cue one of our biggest rows (it lastest about 3mins all in) and then I got the hugs i was looking for in the first place.
It got me thinking on the way back this evening - what would I have done differently. Well I would've looked up a different way to travel for a start, but sometimes these things happen. In the end I figured I'd done the best I could. I told Al when I got in it had been a rotten journey, I felt awful and needed a bit of tlc -he was distracted at the time so wasn't paying attention (bloody macs!! ;)) and we sorted it out, but it wasn't a pleasant experience. We had a great weekend after it, but i was proud of some things I managed.
- I told Al what had happened and didn't just accept he had the right to yell at me (I'm not saying it was a perfect way to handle the whole thing but baby steps!)
- I didn't turn to food (or drink!) for comfort, I told him I needed tlc and later said I needed hugs -both of which did a lot more towards comforting me than food would.
- I let it go and didn't let it fester all weekend
- I didn't swallow down any of my emotions, I let them out :)
OK this may seem like a big long moan, but it's not meant that way, really. I was happy with how i dealt with things, and you lot are about the only people who might understand :)
Now - all I have to do is to figure out all the other times I overeat and why. one by one, I'm knocking them down!!!
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